Fiddlin' Around

Anniversaries.....

2008-12-11T21:33:00.004-06:00

So I know it's been a long time since I've put anything new up. And I mean to blog, I really do. I just don't always have things to say that are profound, or even relatively interesting.

But today is different and I thought it was noteworthy. We all have anniversaries of sorts, and not just the marriage kind. There's the anniversary of the first date, the first christmas, the first kiss. We celebrate birthdays, and lifetime achievements and milestones. Well, today is a milestone for me. Today was the one year anniversary of my father's death.

It has been a roller-coaster of a day on several different levels. I tried to completely forget that this was coming, and well, it just didn't work. My subconscious wouldn't let me forget and there were times this week I truly became anxious, wondering what today would be like for me.

So what was it like? It was sad. I kept myself very busy today (after all, I still have finals to give at school) and tried not to think of it. But it was in those quiet moments in the morning, and the down-times during class that it would sneak in. I thought about where I was at this time last year, and what I was doing. I thought about the last memories that I have of my dad and re-lived both the good times and the bad.

And while it was sad, I felt an overwhelming sense of relief and accomplishment at the same time. I have survived the first year! There are no more "firsts" without my dad. Everything after today has been done once before and I'm finding comfort in that. It was truly surreal for me to realize that I needed to acknowledge that accomplishment too.

So there it is. And now that the day is almost done, I'm thankful that it happened. It gave me time to reflect and re-live so much. I'm still feeling a bit melancholy and very very tired, but I feel more settled and at peace about things than I have for a long time.....

MMMM....Bread!

2008-08-24T20:09:00.005-06:00

I am, without a doubt, a breadmaker extraordinaire!!! Ok, so maybe I shouldn't go that far, but seriously? The cinnamon raisin bread I made was awesome! It was like magic: I put the ingredients in the machine last night (in a particular order) and Abra Cadabra, Poof, Yummy smelling bread woke me up this morning at 9:30am...all in all, a very good morning :) I also made a second loaf for just me and the hubby and ended up giving the rest of the first loaf to my mom-in-law. She did let me borrow the breadmaker, after all. (and the second loaf is just as yummy as the first one was!).

Now onwards to the very few downsides: 1) It's a lot noisier than you're actually led to believe. I actually woke up at 6 this morning because the paddle in the bread pan had started the "kneading" phase. That, and the alarm that lets you know you can add the raisins in went off around then. Of course, I didn't need to add the raisins, because in the book it told me to put them in last night (around the outside of the breadpan, away from the yeast) since I was setting it up to delay the baking. Apparently there's no "I'm setting this for delay" button that will turn off the alarm...hehe.

So that was mildly annoying, but I ended up shutting the bedroom door as well as turning the thermostat down so the air kicked on. I was so hoping that the noise (the churning paddle and the raisin alarm) hadn't awakened my husband since he had to be up at the butt-crack of dawn for his church gig, but no such luck. I also thought that the air conditioning kicking on might mask the noise of the breadmaker, but I was informed this afternoon (on the way to meet the in-laws for lunch) that I'm now not allowed to make bread on the days that he has to be up early in the morning! hehe...I guess he didn't sleep very well after that. Live and learn I say...but how was I supposed to know how noisy it was??? I think the problem might also be that we live in a small one bedroom condo and the kitchen is pretty much right outside of our bedroom door.

Anyhoo, there is really only one other downside, and this pretty much only pertains to me..and because we live in said small condo. I don't have anywhere to store the breadmaker. Right now it's sitting on top of our stove and eventually we're going to need to use the stove...like tomorrow. I tried to find cupboard storage, but we're pretty packed into this place. I'll find someplace to put it, so we can manage, but I don't think the hubby will be up for getting a breadmaker of our own just yet. Ah well...at least I don't have to give this one back just yet!!!

Birthday Surprises and Bread.....

2008-08-23T20:43:00.004-06:00

So I'll start with the Birthday Surprises :) I would have updated sooner, but I've been busy playing catch up for being gone for a long weekend :)

I made the 14 hour trip (driving, of course) to throw my mom a surprise 60th birthday party! It came at a good time (besides being about a week after her actual birthday), because she was getting a little down on herself. She's still getting over the radiation and lumpectomy surgery and finds that she's really tired al the time. Apparently she's been sleeping almost 16-18 hours a day and it's bugging her that this is happening and ruining her summer. So the party was not only a huge surprise, but a great pick-me-up!

I managed to plan this without her even suspecting and had the many people who couldn't be there send cards to my aunt's address. I had a few moments of panic when I thought she might have some idea, but I think I was just being paranoid, because the look on her face when she walked into the room and a little over 70 people (from all parts of mom's life) yelled surprise was TRULY priceless :) I think she was most surprised to see me, since I had kinda lied and talked to her about how I had just "given" a midterm the day before in Atlanta...hehe...I TOTALLY had her fooled!

Anyways, the food was fabulous--my friend Alexis did most of it, and the whole party turned out to be a huge success :) The best part? I got to spend the rest of the weekend at home with mom! It was definitely a long drive, but oh so worth it! I even got to see my senior year roomie and her husband in my stopover in Cleveland as well as another friend in Nashville on the way back.

So all in all, a good little trip with a great party!

Onwards to the bread....

After reading a post on my friend Deedle's blog about making fresh bread, I was truly intrigued. I looked into buying a breadmaker at the local goodwill...except there wasn't one. And, after looking at Target, it was just a bit too expensive....

So then, on a whim, I mentioned my interest to the mother-in-law today, and was amazed to find out she owned one...and then she offered to let me borrow hers so I could try it out before buying my own. How cool is that? My mother-in-law is great :) On top of that, she started giving me a bunch of ingredients I would need to make the cinnamon raisin bread that I wanted to try, and I only had to stop and get a few things she didn't have. So when I wake up tomorrow I should have some yummy cinnamon raisin bread!...unless something goes terribly wrong, but I guess we'll find out tomorrow :)

I'll update you once I find out how the experiment goes! Wish me luck!!

The 2008 Summer Olympics

2008-08-11T20:46:00.005-06:00

Ok, so I have to start by saying that I've not always been around during the summers of Olympics. Some summers I've been abroad, others I've been working at some music camp (no surprise, really) but this summer, I'm excited to actually be home to watch the Olympics! I've always loved to try and tune in whenever possible, because I have to admit it, the Olympics FASCINATE me. I ADORE watching the gymnastics, espeically since I used to be a gymnast.

"What's that you say?" Yes, it's true. When I was young, I was really really into gymnastics...and then I turned 12 and reality hit. I realized then how NOT flexible I really was and I turned more towards music. ( smart move, I'd say!) And so I don't tend to pay much attention to beach volleyball/tennis/badminton, etc...but I like to watch gymnastics and swimming...or whatever I can catch on tv!

Ok, Back to the 2008 Olympics: I watched a bit last night after we finished recording the podcast and I truly saw champions compete when I watched the men's 4 X 100 relay. Now, I've never been the hugest fan of swimming, but It was AMAZING!!! And what made it better?? Perhaps it was watching men in speedo's slice through water so quickly? no, ohhhh no. It was watching the Americans kick French ass after said Frenchies were talking smack about smashing the Americans. Didn't they seem a bit quiet after they lost??? hehe...it was something to see, that's for sure! It gave me goosebumps to watch--I was so proud of our American team!!!

I did catch a bit of the gymnastics, at the end of the evening, but I missed the afternoon stuff due to recording...we had a bunch of people over to record our podcast, "Who Cares if You LIsten?" (ok, shameless self-plug...) Check us out at www.whocaresifyoulisten.com and you can subscribe to our podcast through iTunes!

So I'm going to end this by mentioning that it's taking me awhile to get it written because I'm watching the Olympics while typing! I just watched Michael Phelps (amazing swimmer) win his 9th career gold metal, though I think it's only his 3rd of this Olympics..and it was in the freestyle. And he just finished a minute ago winning the Men's 200 meter Butterfly semi-finals :) He's so much fun to watch swim :) I just can't believe he really has a 6 foot 7-inch wing span...or that they'd tell us that...

Now we're back to Gymnastics...it's the men...but even that's kinda fun to watch. I'm definitely going to tune in on Wednesday for the women's finals in Gymnastics!! I love the Summer Olympics!! Go Team USA!!!

Work, among other things....

2008-08-06T20:20:00.004-06:00

So I guess I lied a little bit about updating as quickly as I thought I could--work got in the way!

Anyways, I had a FABULOUS time at Agatha's mystery dinner theater! It was a bit pricey, but well worth it!

The play we saw was called "Harry Plotter and the Half-Wit Princess".....so let's just say it was more of a comedy with a murder thrown in than anything else. Everyone had a part to play, which was cool, cuz I got to be Peter Panic!! Ok, so when we first walked in, they asked us which of us was the more outgoing, and (cough), after my hubby pointed to me, I was given this pretty cool part. And the part my husband received, well it was with about 50 other people...let's just call it the "chorus" part.

At any rate, it's definitely something we would do again for special occasions!

So that's about it for that. As for everything else, we're into week 4 in a 10 week term at the Art Institute and I'm not looking forward to making up those midterms and then grading them all! I've got to get everything set up for the sub (my hubby) to cover the classes while I'm out of town....I've got a relatively fun "event" coming up, but I will say no more, for fear of ruining a great surprise! I promise to blog about it once it's over with in a few weeks.

On another note...I have just realized some disappointing news. I really really wanted to go to my 10 year high school reunion this summer on Labor Day weekend (I know, I know...you're laughing at me) but, well, it turns out it's the same weekend as a film festival that my husband has gotten his recent short film entered into. I know I need to be there for family loyalty and all that. Plus, I can't exactly afford to come back to Buffalo for Labor Day weekend, (partly because of this upcoming "event") and I'm very sad about it. Stupid huh? I guess there's always the 20 year right?

Anniversaries.....

2008-07-22T10:15:00.004-06:00

So I haven't updated in a few days because work has been really busy, but I thought I'd leave a little update. Today Alan and I are celebrating our 2nd wedding anniversary! Actually we celebrated a bit last night by going out to the Melting Pot (a yummy fondue restaurant that we both love--Alan took me to the one in Nashville on the night he proposed) and we're going to Agatha's mystery dinner theater tomorrow night....I've always wanted to go, so I'm really excited about it! We are getting to celebrate twice because we can't actually go out tonight, and methinks the hubby feels a wee bit guilty about that!

I promise to give another update after the Agatha's mystery dinner theater...until then, I've got to go prep for my classes tomorrow..ughh.

And We're Off!

2008-07-14T19:20:00.006-06:00

Not to the races, however. Today started the summer term at the Art Institute of Atlanta, but it felt like something of a race. I was excited for the start of the classes, but in order to get everything settled I had to visit three or four different offices on different floors...which felt a bit like I was racing around like a chicken with my head cut off. I think that they purposely send you around to see several different people, each one sending you back to the person you just saw...and the powers-that-be sit around laughing as they watch you scurry back-and-forth.

Anyways....I think I finally got most things settled! Class went well and I lucked out this term--the classes I teach are only on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday...so I get to have a few days off too! (Although I think I'm going to try to pick up a number of new students to supplement the income!)

Even though I'm getting used to teaching the summer quarters, I still feel weird, because it seems like I should still be on vacation.....

I guess that's what happens when you teach semesters at colleges and then only teach certain weeks of the summer! Ah well....

I'm quite proud of myself though because I had a goal to cook more once we got settled in one city and it's going well so far! I'm trying to find a good local farmer's market (thanks to Deedle!) and I say good, because I'm having a bit of trouble on that score. I managed to find a really neat international farmer's market pretty close to the condo, but I didn't really have a good experience there. Maybe I'll try it again in a few weeks, but I've got a couple of other options to try first (and they're even closer to our condo than the international place.)

I'm also trying to grow some of my own vegetables! My violin/fiddle students gave me a large pot of herbs with a tomato and a pepper plant as a going away present before I left Nashville. I ended up transplanting the tomato plant into its own pot and bought another cherry tomato plant (which I like better than regular tomatoes) and a bell pepper plant. It's something of an experiment to see if I can grow things successfully, but so far I've already gotten a nice banana pepper from the plant my students gave me! I'm hoping that perhaps by August or early September I'll have some tomatoes and bell peppers too!

So that's the news here...I wish it was more exciting....alas I'll try to spice it up in the next post!

4th of July.....

2008-07-04T10:41:00.004-06:00

Happy 4th of July!!

I am just having a nostalgic moment and remembering the days of old...the parades, the fireworks (yes, even the illegal ones we set off), the hot dogs, ice cream, and the sparklers that we kids loved to wave around in the dark!

This year the hubby and I went into Historic Norcross (the town in which we live) to see the festival and fireworks last night. Apparently, the town used to have the celebration on the 4th, but was in too much competition with the fireworks and hullaballoo from Lawrenceville...another town just north of Norcross (which is also the county seat...I guess that means they have bigger fireworks???) So Norcross moved their festival to July 3rd. I think it makes for double the celebrations myself...as you know we're not really going to just sit around on the ACTUAL 4th holiday...that would be silly :) And unpatriotic...or something like that.

At any rate, we had a great time! There were tons of people and cotton candy (which of course I had to get), and funnel cakes (which I so wisely stayed away from) and a really bad band trying to play fleetwood mac covers. It had everything :) Even the fireworks were pretty cool!

Today we're off to a friend's house about 45 minutes north of us, to see his new house and hang out with some of my husband's friends that we haven't seen in awhile. I'm sure it'll be good times, with lots of wine/beer and hot dogs/hamburgers. Methinks we'll also try to catch some other fireworks later tonight in downtown Historic Roswell--another historical town very close to where we live. They'll have something similar to Norcross' event, I think, so I guess that means more cotton candy and maybe a funnel cake with my fireworks!

Methinks I'm turning into a fireworks junkie. Or perhaps, I'm just there for the food :)

I hope that everyone (or whoever reads this) has a safe and happy 4th of July!

Good News!

2008-06-25T08:44:00.004-06:00

Thanks to everyone for your wonderful thoughts, prayers, and comments :)

I finally talked to mom last night around 7:30ish and she was home and tired, but doing well. She was in a bit more pain than she expected, but she told me that the doctor had found another spot that looked suspicious, so he scooped that part out as well. She also got in and out of the surgery faster due to an 80 yr old woman who accidentally pulled the needle out of the surgical spot while trying to put her hospital gown on. That poor woman had to go back out to Williamsville to have another needle placed at the surgical site...ughh. But, because of that they prepped my mom for surgery and she went in almost two hours earlier than expected!

We're not sure if that extra spot will affect the radiation plan for a week from now, but all we can do is wait. At least she's through the really hard part!

Please Pray....

2008-06-23T21:40:00.005-06:00

My mother's surgery is tomorrow. Thankfully they didn't find any other spots of breast cancer and so it will only be a lumpectomy on the one side. I feel grateful to be able to say that it's no big deal, but I'm struggling with the fact that I can't be there for her tomorrow and during the radiation and everything. I feel as if I'm letting her down somehow, even though I'm not sure there is anything I could do if I were there.

I feel really helpless. All I can do is pray. So please, keep my mom in your prayers and send good thoughts her way! Hopefully I'll have more news to post by Tuesday night (after her surgery).

Who Cares if You Listen....

2008-06-23T09:44:00.004-06:00

That's the title of our new podcast! My husband had this idea of doing a podcast about art music and wanted to put a panel together. So of course I said sure, not entirely knowing what this would be about. And it turns out, it's one of the more interesting things that I've been doing lately :)

We have a very 'eclectic' panel of people...ranging from people who are involved with rock, r&b, prog rock, classical, bluegrass, irish (that would be me!), etc., and when you put all of us together....well, you never quite know what will happen! The first episode came out at the beginning of June and yesterday we recorded the material for the next few episodes. It was definitely interesting!

I wish there was just an easy way to explain what the podcast was about, but I think it's still defining itself. The original idea was supposed to only be about art music and why people should or shouldn't listen...and I think it's morphed into so much more than that! It's become a roundtable discussion of musical ideas, including those of pop music, and a way for people to really say what they think!

You can check us out at http://whocaresifyoulisten.com or you can find our podcast on iTunes in the music section. Please take a listen and let me know what you think!

Back in the ATL

2008-06-21T17:41:00.004-06:00

And so the string camp is ended! It was a great week, but exhausting. I was still sick on Sunday when camp started and my icky viral throat infection turned into an even yuckier sinus infection, so now I have a Z-pack. I love drugs! At least the ones that make me better, that is. I really needed to stay on my feet this week, so thankfully it worked!

We had 36 campers this year, which is WAY more than we've had in the past! It was awesome--I heard soooo much great music ranging from fiddle to rock to jazz to classical and helped the kiddies learn how to fiddle, both old-time and Irish style. There were lots of awkward/funny moments, which always happens when you first try to get classically trained budding musicians to "swing"...especially when they're violists!

Anyhoo, the final concert was a blast and then the remaining campers (there were only four staying over until Saturday) went out for some food in Hillsboro Village (right near Belmont University). After finally getting them off to the airport/meeting their parents I was able to get on the road back to Hotlanta...and now I think I could sleep for a week :)

I have a few great pics to post, but that will have to wait until I can get them uploaded from my camera....until next time!

Back to the Grind...or something like that!

2008-06-15T08:03:00.003-06:00

Well, it's back to work for me, I suppose! I got back to Atlanta on Friday, still trying to recover from whatever bug I came down with at the end of my Buffalo stay :( I wish that my time there hadn't ended with me feeling so awful, but I didn't have too many choices on that score!

And so now I'm attempting to do laundry and pack quickly as I'm headed back to Nashville today to teach the String Crossings Camp at Belmont this week. It should be a really good week. It's a group of high school kids from all over the country, and usually they're a pretty good bunch. (I should know as this is my fourth or fifth year teaching at the camp!)

At any rate, I just wish I were feeling 100%......

A Plethora of Good news....or maybe just news....

2008-06-10T21:59:00.005-06:00

Ok, so I mentioned in the last post I had news. And I do :) I was just way too tired and wrung out emotionally to post any more yesterday.

My mom got the test results back yesterday from the second biopsy and the tumor is benign!! Which means that there is absolutely no change for the surgery and it can be rescheduled soon...and it will ONLY be a lumpectomy as far as anyone is saying, which is GREAT news!! They caught the cancer early enough that mom won't even need to have chemotherapy...only radiation and that's only precautionary!

I'm also excited about the new podcast that my husband and I and a number of other friends have just launched. It's called "Who Cares if You Listen?" and it's a discussion of art music, made up of a panel of people from ALL different walks of life. Check out our website at You can also find the podcast in the iTunes store and it's Free to download :)

Let me know what you think! It was a fun thing to record--I had a really great time just sitting down with everyone and having interesting discussions, though we didn't always stay on topic!

And so today "It" happened....

2008-06-09T14:32:00.003-06:00

I had a tiny nervous breakdown. I suppose it wasn't really a nervous breakdown, but everything sort of built up to a head and I kind of lost it. Not the screaming, lose-your-mind kind of thing, but it was more the overwhelming, straw-that-broke-the -camel's-back, find yourself a huge box of tissues and chocolates kind of thing.

I think it's been the strain of the past four to five months, starting with the time I decided that I should probably go back to school to start my doctorate in February. I applied, and after finding out I had to take the GRE again, bought the books to study and tried to get everything organized and pinned down. And then it just seemed that every time I tried to study or prepare, there was always something else that popped up that was more important. And usually whatever it was, truly DID have to be done sooner. Unfortunately, it didn't leave much time for GRE study. Or ease my fear of the Quantitative (math) sections.

So I hired a tutor. or tried to. It wasn't until the end of May/early June that I was able to find one...moving to a new city and all. And cramming, my friends, really does NOT work. Hence my current situation. I thought all was well and have been studying for the past few weeks, and today I took a full-length practice test, minus the essays. And my mom helped me score it. (Mind you, I was supposed to take the actual GRE this coming Wednesday, while at home in Buffalo). Right after I finished the second section, I got a phone call from the Testing center. Realize that it's probably not good news if they're calling you. And it wasn't. My test was cancelled due to technical difficulties. So I panicked. And then heaved a sigh of relief when they called a few minutes later to reschedule. Until we finished scoring those two sections.

Now, I know I'm not stupid, but after grading the math section I really felt like it. And it took me back to the first time I took one of those awful tests...the dreaded SAT, and getting my scores for the math. I remember the day I got them in the mail and my father's response after I opened them. I got a 520, which isn't great, and he was so kind to point out how poorly he thought I'd done. And then he called me an idiot. So fast forward to today and, after looking at my math score...a 520 seemed like gold...it was like I could hear my dad's voice in my head...and everything just fell apart. I know I shouldn't speak ill of the dead, especially since he was my father, but what kind of person actually calls their child an idiot??? Anyways.....

So after a lot of tears and chocolate and diet coke (I fell off the wagon on that addiction), I decided to defer my grad school application to January. I realized, after finally calming down that it's just not worth it and I'm pushing for no really good reason. Why is it we can't really see clearly until everything seems to fall apart? At any rate, at least I've made a decision and have a new goal to work towards.

More news tomorrow, but this post is already too long...

A New Beginning....

2008-06-07T07:44:00.003-06:00

And so the Nashville chapter of my life has ended and I'm starting the next one. Alan and I moved two weeks ago to Atlanta. Permanently. Or at least as permanently as I suppose it can be. I could, given a few years, perhaps talk him into going back to Nashville...but I have this sad, heavy little feeling that it's just not going to happen.

Moving on...I'm still not done unpacking. I have no idea when that will happen, but it probably won't happen within the next week! Most likely because I'm spending time now in Buffalo with my mom. She was supposed to have a lumpectomy this past Thursday, but after yet another test, this time an MRI, they found another couple of spots to biopsy. And so we wait. Hopefully we'll know something by Monday or Tuesday, and they'll be able to then reschedule the surgery. The bad news is that I probably won't be able to be home for that, since I have a few other commitments coming up that I can't get out of.

I like being home and being somewhat pampered though! Mom, in preparation of my visit, went and bought all of my favorite foods. And while I'm grateful..I'm so going to have to get back on the ball with walking and tennis to not gain at least twenty pounds while I'm home!

Speaking of walking....

I'm going to be walking in the 3-day Breast Cancer Walk this October in Atlanta! I'm training with my team, The Headlight Preservation Society, and we'll be walking 60 miles over the course of 3 days!

Please please visit my personal page for the event and consider making a donation to the cause!

Rest In Peace.....

2007-12-18T20:26:00.000-06:00

David Carl Haller
March 1, 1938 - December 11, 2007

My dad, David Carl Haller, passed away on Tuesday, December 11th, 2007. I flew home as soon as possible to help my mom take care of all the arrangements and now I'm finally able to settle down and write this.

It's been an draining and truly exhausting week, and I'm so tired that I feel like I could sleep for a week. My husband has truly been a rock for me to lean on and so supportive and helpful....

Now the hard part happens when all the family goes home and it's just me and mom for the Holidays and we have so much work to do!

Anyways, so that's what's going on in my world. And it's really hard to get into the Christmas spirit this year....And the worst part is, this is usually my favorite time of the year.

~KMB

Reality sinks in.....

2007-12-04T15:36:00.000-06:00

My dad is in Hospice. I can actually say it now without tearing up, which I suppose is better than the alternative. It's truly sinking in. I don't know how long my dad has left...days...weeks, months perhaps? At least they will help him be pain-free until the end and help him die with dignity. (I hope).

It seems so surreal. I know it's real though. I saw this past weekend how small he's gotten. Odd, my dad never looked small before...he was always so big and confident, and at times, really annoying, but never small. Now he's irritable and small and can't catch his breath most of the time.

All I can say is it's heart-breaking to watch.

I'm such a slacker.....about blogging anyway!

2007-09-28T08:40:00.000-06:00

Ok, so I'm truly a slacker when it comes to blogging....Aug. 2nd was my last post...Aug. 2nd???? that was almost 2 months ago!!! What is wrong with me?????

Well...I have a TON of updates!!

First, Vacation with hubby was wonderful!! I got home from Raleigh/Durham, and he surprised me with an iPhone...yes, you read that right, an iPhone! After getting it set up and doing laundry we left for a few days of vacation and it was wonderful!

Since then, I have gotten a job at the Art Institute of Atlanta (the new term starts Monday!), and finished the rest of my gigging commitments with bands. For the next 8 months or so...I'm off the road due to the new job! This is mostly because I'll be travelling between three states EVERY week....i think I'm nuts!
So I now work in Nashville, Bowling Green, KY, and Atlanta, GA. Let's just hope I'm still sane by the middle of June when we're moving permanently to Atlanta!

So currently this is concert week in Bowling Green...we had a concert on tuesday morning (children's concerts), a concert in BG last night, and tonight is in Glasgow, KY (about a half hour from BG). Then it's back to the grind!!

In other news....well, I'm not sure there is other news. I'm going a little crazy trying to keep up and organized with this new schedule and I'm a little worried that I'm going to have a bit of a breakdown. I can't seem to remember somewhat important things sometimes....like on Monday night when I stayed over in BG....I forgot my suitcase! I thought I had loaded it up already...but no!!! Luckily I had some extra time and Target was close...so I had to buy mostly new stuff. It was a costly little mistake. So I guess I'm afraid that those kind of stupid mistakes are going to become the norm.

I feel very random today. I suppose I'm allowed, seeing as it's my blog...but still. I should strive for less randomness. But I continue....I think there's something wrong with my car...and I don't have time to get it fixed before I have to drive to Bowling Green, KY and then onwards to Atlanta. This sucks.

Also, I think I turned/strained my ankle two days ago. I went out walking with the hubby---trying to get back into a normal workout routine and I don't remember it rolling, but I remember going down a hill and my feet were moving in my shoes, so i braced my feet differently. And yesterday woke up with a swollen and aching ankle. Yay, me.

So now everyone is completely up to date on what's going on or wrong or right in my world. I just wish my world would slow down a bit so I could catch my breath!

until next time.....which hopefully will be sooner than two months!

~KMB

I'm leavin' on a Jet Plane.....

2007-08-02T09:37:00.000-06:00

Well, I'll only be gone a few days! I'm back from Dayton and catching up with my students and basically trying to get ready for the fall teaching schedule!

I'm off again on Saturday to Raleigh-Durham, NC to play with the Blair Band....I have absolutely no idea where. That's how it works in this band (a lot of the time). He'll ask if we're available, then book the flights, but not tell us pretty much ANYTHING about the gig. Oh well...I don't guess that I know anyone in Raleigh or Durham anyways....

When I get back on the 7th, the hubby and I are going to take off that day (hopefully right after I come home, but I might need some clean laundry!) and head to Chattanooga for a day's vacation!! I'm very excited...although it was supposed to be four days in Chatty, but then the gig came up! Ah well, perhaps next year!...at least we get tuesday night/wednesday...so we'll stay in a fun B&B and then see what we can on Wednesday before heading down to Atlanta. Unfortunately Alan's got to teach on Thursday morning really early...ughh.

And I'm a little sad as my friend Rachel left for Holland yesterday....she's going to be working at the Hague as a legal intern for the yugoslavian war tribunals (or something like that). How cool is that???!!! I know she's going to have a fabulous time while there, but I'm going to miss her :)

Anyways, got to sign off now...have too much to do today!

~KMB

Hello from Dayton!

2007-07-25T19:14:00.000-06:00

Just a quick post....as I'm trying to get better at writing more often! I'm in Dayton, OH right now to do some recording for a friend's album thursday and friday and then I'll be playing at the Dayton Celtic Festival on Saturday and Sunday! Whew...it's going to be a long, but really fun rest of the week!

Even better? My friend Sheila just had a daughter, Emma Grace, about two weeks ago and I'll get to see her this weekend! I can't wait to see the little munchkin...but that reminds me...I still need to get a baby gift!

Anyhooo.....I'd best get going...I need to figure out what tunes I'm supposed to play on tomorrow :)

Keep on keepin' on!

~KMB

Hmmmm....

2007-07-24T12:39:00.000-06:00

I thought I would try to be better about posting, but apparently I'm just not!

I've been back from buffalo for about three weeks now and sooooo many things have happened:

1) I got a job with the Art Institute of Atlanta...to start in October of THIS year (I'll mainly be teaching classes on fridays/saturdays...etc)
So starting in October, I will be in three states EVERY week....I think I'm crazy, but at least the money will be good!

2) I played at the Grandfather Mountain Highland Games a few weeks ago and will post pics soon! I had a great weekend, met some awesome new people, and overall just had a lot of fun! It rained out our last set on Sunday, but that was alright...as I had to get back to Nashville anyways!
For more info, I will be blogging on the goddess blogs about my fun time...there were lots of men in kilts!!!

3) My husband and I celebrated our one-year anniversary a few days ago (July 22nd)!!!! We had a wonderful day--very leisurely and finished it off with a yummy trip to the Melting Pot (fondue restaurant)....there were a dozen roses waiting for me on the table--it was so beautiful!! (And the food was great too!)

All in all...everything is going pretty good right now. My parents are doing ok...well, Dad is being dad and has his good days and bad...but he's hanging on.

Oh yesh, and I thought I had played my last Blair band gig at Grandfather Mountain, but apparently I'm on for at least one more! We're off to Raleigh-Durham, NC on August 4th....hopefully it'll be good times!!!

So that's about it methinks. Life has it's ups and downs, but hopefully there will be more ups than downs in the near future!!

~KMB

Planes, Trains, and well...just planes...

2007-07-01T19:43:00.000-06:00

So I'm off tomorrow morning at the butt-crack of dawn to catch a plane home to Buffalo, NY to visit the parents for a week. I'm looking forward to seeing lots of people while I'm there!

And now, onwards to the good news updates!

I've just signed the contracts to play full time (well, once a week rehearsal plus the concerts) as the Principal second violinist in the Bowling Green Western Symphony Orchestra. I'll also be teaching in the pre-college department at Western Kentucky University (which the BGWSO is a part of).

I may have another possible job in the works...though I'm unsure of when I might start. I'm hoping it will happen as the extra money will be a godsend!

So keep your fingers crossed for me :)

~KMB

Update

2007-06-28T17:22:00.000-06:00

So I know I've been a bit down as of late due to the ole' family situation and I really appreciate everyone's kind thoughts and prayers! (Twolilhahas, thanks so much for your comment!) I again, realized how bad I've been about leaving these updates...but I have to be honest--I didn't think anyone actually read my blog (silly me!).

Anyways, Dad got quite a bit better during his 15-day stay in the hospital, which we were happy about since there were a few days that, at the time, made it look like he might not come home at all. And of course, me being 750 miles away in Nashville, doesn't help my emotional state.

So he was finally able to come home last week and since that time, My mother has informed me that he seems to have slid downhill pretty fast. It seems that while in the hospital, they get him feeling really good on these powerful steriods (so he thinks he's better) and then they cut him back down once he's home. He's now huffing and puffing again and complaining (I swear my mother's a saint to even put up with it!) and he's being his usual charming self (read dripping sarcasm here.)

I'm headed home on Monday for a week and I'm really glad that I'll have a good chance to see both my parents. I'm worried a bit about my mom. I don't think she stands up to my dad enough and he tries to control everything, partly because he really doesn't have much left that he CAN control. It's sad to see really. So anyhoo...that's about it.

I've been working a lot (teaching, gigging, etc.). We finally finished up the String Crossings Camp at Belmont, which for those that don't know, it's a string camp for highschoolers who want to learn to play classical, jazz/rock, and bluegrass/country/Irish fiddle. It was a very successful week, but after staying in the dorms with those kids, I'm very tired!

I have a few more non-medical updates that I'll try to post later, but I've got to run and go teach a violin lesson!

~KMB

The journey of death

2007-06-06T12:32:00.000-06:00

So I've been really bad at blogging the past few months. I have no real excuse except for life. Life kind of got in the way, and I just never got around to sitting down to write much.

Here's an update:

I worked a lot until the end of the semester and stayed busy....money for bills is ALWAYS a good thing.

I saw my dad over Mother's day weekend...he's not doing good. He was worse then than when I saw him in April at the funeral in chicago. It seems like he's sliding downhill faster and faster these days....and there's nothing I can do to help.

The worst part of life is watching someone die a little bit at a time and knowing that there's not a damn thing you can do to stop it.

He's going into the hospital today (or should be) because he's so dehydrated that he's shutting his kidneys down. He was supposed to go yesterday (per doctors orders), but being the curmudgeon that he is, didn't want to go...as he hates the ER.
And unfortunately, my mother, who is his caregiver, can't just pick him up and take him to the hospital. He still has the right to refuse treatment...yada yada yada.

So anyways, back to reality. Dad was so sick today that he finally agreed (or so we all thought) to go to the hospital this afternoon. However, as of this afternoon, he was still being an idiot and he won't go. Anyways, I'm just hoping that he hasn't damaged his kidneys so badly that he's going to need dialysis, because that opens up a new kind of Hell that neither mom nor dad really needs.

Mom thinks he's giving up on life. At this point, I think I almost agree with her as he's really not eating much and he's losing too much weight. I wish my mom and I weren't on this emotional rollercoaster right along with him...it sucks.

And the worst part? Unless he's on his death bed...I can't really afford to go home until July. I wish I could fly home today (if I weren't sick myself--some virus that doctor thinks was helped partly by stress)...but I already bought my tickets for the first week in July. I'm just hoping he makes it that long. And if I need to go home...well, I'll cross that bridge when I have to...we'll figure something out.

Anyways....so that's life at the moment. And from my view...everything pretty much sucks.

~KMB

Contemplations.....

2007-04-16T09:47:00.000-06:00

Well, Easter has come and gone and it was good...I guess. It was a little sad as I compared it to Easters past and it just didn't quite measure up. I played a gig on Easter. And spent the weekend thousands of miles away from my husband. That alone was kind of a downer.

I used to love Easter. It was a time I got to see family, catch up with the cousins (on my mom's side of the family), have Easter-egg hunts, find our Easter baskets and pretty much enjoy the holiday. As I've gotten older I realize how little there is of that. This year, the only real highlight was getting an easter box in the mail (a few days late) from my mom...who tried to cleverly say it was the "Easter Bunny" but put her return address on the box. It was definitely a welcome surprise, but it reminded me how far we've come and how life has changed so much. I miss the old times. My resolution is to make the next holidays more important...to keep them sacred. If I don't, if I treat these special days as just another ordinary working day, I've lost something. And I'm not sure I'll ever get it back if I don't consciously make the effort.

I suppose that I've been thinking about these things and family for a little while now. I got a phone call the other night from my cousin in New Jersey, who was the deliverer of some awful news. My cousin, (actually my second cousin--but family nonetheless) was murdered last Wednesday/Thursday night. And he was only 23. His life was snuffed out, taken just like that before he'd really even had a chance to live. And it made me sick inside. It made me look at life a little differently...and realize how much, we, as people take for granted every single day.

When my husband got home on Sunday, I held him for a long time. Just held him...and realized how precious life truly is. I don't want to take him for granted. I want to live in each moment and realize how valuable it is...because for some, you never know when a kiss or a hug could be the last you'll have.

R.I.P Matthew Christian Haller...you'll be greatly missed.

~KMB

Happy Easter!

2007-04-07T09:16:00.000-06:00

I'm off to Salt Lake City today...yep you read that right. Salt. Lake. City. in Utah...somehow I think I'm as surprised as everyone...I never expected to go there and celebrate Easter....one of the more important Christian Holidays (like Christmas) out in Mormon country. I know I know, there are lots of other people out there too...but it is kinda different, don't you think?? (Alan has already warned me not to get married again. I told him that I wouldn't...one of him was all I could handle anyways!!!...although now I think on it, the women don't marry more than once anyway--it's the men that take multiple wives..)

I'm kinda excited about this trip and for the first time in years, a little nervous about it. I know it's a regular Blair Band gig, but we're playing in the Salt Lake City Arena and that sounds pretty cool to me! Also, I've never been to Utah.. and I'm going to buy my obligatory shot glass (if you don't know me, I tend to buy shotglasses from airports of places I've never been to before and I have quite the collection!)

I hope that wherever y'all are celebrating Easter, you have a great weekend! Happy Easter!

Gotta run and pack now!

~KMB

My Life of late....

2007-04-02T22:13:00.000-06:00

It started out so easy to keep a blog...I'd just write stuff in the evenings about my day, or my week and hope, perhaps even wish that somebody might even be reading this. Well, my busy season (that kicks in early March and goes through Easter) hit and I've just been horrible at updating this blog.

So here are the main basic points of my life thus far...at least what's been going on lately (as if anyone's reading this!):

* I've had a bunch of gigs and barely have enough time to sleep, let alone actually blog.

* I haven't done so well on getting and staying out of my funk...while I've made some great strides in doing the creative things I want to do, a few obstacles have gotten in the way...which leads to....

* I sprained my ankle, so I can't do the Irish step-dancing for awhile...which I guess is good, as I've just been too busy lately anyways, but I'm feeling the weight that I gained over the winter..and well, I just feel all blah and fat. And I'm having trouble exercising because of the ankle thing.

* I need new clothing because my stuff is all at least 2 years old and in some cases, starting to fall apart...oh yeah, and if you didn't catch the 'fat' part from above....well, nevermind.

* I started voice lessons (yay!) although I have to honestly admit I'm not practicing enough....grrr...me.

* The imminent move to Atlanta has me bummed (even though it's a little more than a year away) as I'm not sure what I want to be when I grown up (well...does this mean I have to get a real job that's not in music?) And all those fun types of questions have come up lately....if anyone has any advice, let's hear it...cuz I really don't know what to do. My husband seems to think that I'll have a ton of job offers and I won't be able to take them all...but I'm a little more skeptical and realistic. Which leads to....

* If I don't stay in music...what should I do? I've thought about law school..although I just don't think I'm cut out for that...can't do nursing or med school--can't stand the needles. I feel like if I give up on music though, I will be wasting the two degrees that I worked so hard to get. And I love music..although I will admit, the teaching has been awful lately (at least the private, non-university students.) The more I'm teaching little kids...I'm just not sure I want to do that for the rest of my life. I also feel sometimes as if my career isn't as important in the grand scheme of our family as my husband's is....and that just makes me feel a bit worthless.

* I think that people think I've become anti-social...and it's not that I have..it's just I don't get home until 8 or 9 most nights and I'm absolutely exhausted and all I can think about it getting some sleep...and while I do have some free time...I have no money and can't really afford to go out for drinks and stuff. Though I wish I could.

And it really sucks to have to admit that life just hasn't turned out the way you had envisioned it in your mind when you were younger. I know I'm going through a rough spot..but damn...it feels like it's never going to end. I don't want to move and have to start all over in a year....I did that once when I moved to Nashville and it's taken me at least 5 years, just to really feel like I'm starting to gain some ground.

Ok...methinks I'm done venting. As I'm reading back over this, I sound pathetic ....but that's pretty much how I feel lately. And I'm having trouble snapping out of it. I wish there were easy answers in life...but there aren't. I guess it wouldn't be worth it if there were...but damn, I'd give a lot right now for a nice easy way to be happy and figure all this stuff out.

It's bedtime now methinks...I've had a really bad day and I need to just get some sleep.

~KMB

Blah....

2007-03-08T21:05:00.000-06:00

Well, there's no real news...or GOOD news anyways....
I feel really beat up.

I have to have my car fixed tomorrow and it's EXPENSIVE!!....and now I'm wondering how to pay for the rest of my bills this month. I've even been asked this week (when I've looked sad or depressed) if I had lost the baby.....dear god....I don't even want to go there (see previous post from when I was sick a few weeks ago).

I also have to go to Cincinatti this weekend for a gig....which is the one upside to life this week...at least I'll be busy and have some $$$.

'nuf said....more later

~KMB

I'm a bad blogger...bad me...

2007-03-06T00:22:00.000-06:00

I'm a terrible blog host...I just am. I haven't updated since last week and there are sooooo many things that have been going on! Here's just a few...

*At Belmont this past weekend, we hosted String Crossings Honor Orchestra, in which 52 high school students from all over the Southeastern region of the country came to Belmont and during one day of rehearsals and the concert, put together four (yes that's 4) pieces of music to perform..with soloists. It was awesome! These kids worked really hard and the day was a fantastic success! Now it's time to start planning for the weeklong summer camp, String Crossings....

*I went to a wonderful Irish session at a pub Sunday afternoon and met some really cool new people. It's the first time I've been to a really advanced session here in town, and man, I hope they stick around for awhile!

hmmm...I know there's more, but I can't seem to think right now...I think my brain is trying to tell me it's bedtime! I'll post more later! (although I said that last time...but I promise to try!)

~KMB

Weird, Wrecked, and Wretched Weekend....

2007-02-28T00:27:00.000-06:00

Ok, so I'm having some fun with alliteration. Anyways, it was a HORRIBLE weekend. Like I mentioned in my previous post, I was supposed to go to Arlington, TX with the Blair Band....never happened...but not for lack of trying...ughh...

Saturday Morning...I got to the airport with plenty of time, parked my car in the economy lot and hopped the shuttle to the terminal. Waited around 3 hours to find out that all flights into Dallas/Fort Worth on American Airlines were cancelled out of Nashville. That sucks. Ok, so plan B. We don't have a plan B....sucks even more, but I figured, 'Cool...free weekend!'....Soooo not to be. Around 10:45 that evening, as I was getting ready for bed...mind you, I was still trying to recover from whatever virus was kicking my butt this past week...I got a phone call informing me that we were booked on the 6:35am flight the next morning. yeah, I know..crazy huh? Well, it was true..
This leads us to:

Sunday...I manage to get up around 3 AM...yes, you read that right. 3:00-in the %*&#@-ing morning so I can get to the airport with enough time, only to park, hop yet another shuttle, go through security, to find out around 6:15am that we can't possibly leave until at least 7:55 am because the crew got in too late the night before and weren't even legal to fly until then. So the executive decision came down to cancel yet again.....at least I got to sleep...but I was pissed. Why couldn't we just have re-scheduled on Saturday? Why did they feel the need to drag me out of bed at 3:00 in the morning?

Anyways, I feel like I'm still trying to get back on my feet from Sunday...

Anyhoo....on another note, I'm helping to get ready for the String Crossings Honor Orchestra which will be going on This Saturday, March 3rd at Belmont University. It's supposed to be a great recruiting tool for the school as well as the String Crossings Music Camp which promotes "Music Without Boundaries"...a cool title, I might add. Either way...it's bound to be a good concert...I just hope I have enough energy to survive! I'm running around trying to get lots of things ready for it!

Gotta go and sleep...tomorrow's another teaching day!

~KMB

Crazy Week.....

2007-02-23T17:51:00.000-06:00

So this was the week of Bowling Green, when I drive up to Bowling Green, KY to play in the Bowling Green Western Symphony Orchestra. The Tuesday night dress rehearsal went fine...just long. Wednesday...well, not so much. I woke up feeling a little groggy and thought everything was alright...until after lunch. I felt really tired all of a sudden and I had trouble moving without feeling dizzy. I went and tried to teach that afternoon and almost passed out...I ended up cancelling and going home to sleep. Whatever I've got, it's really knocked me off my feet. I managed to go and play the Thursday concert up in Bowling Green...but it's been a pretty rough week. and NO, I'M NOT PREGNANT. So far I have been asked this at least five times...It's not possible this month, TRUST ME.

I still need to go and finish laundry as I'm off to Arlington, TX with the Blair Band tomorrow for a gig. Man...I just pray that I get through this weekend!!

Hopefully I'll be feeling a lot better tomorrow...ughh....otherwise this weekend is going to be hell. Anyways, at least I can take my laptop on the road with me this time! If there's time...I'll let y'all know how it's going.....

~KMB

The sounds of music......

2007-02-18T21:59:00.000-06:00

So this past Saturday I had auditions for Belmont School of Music....meaning I was there as one of the faculty...not a student auditioning. I didn't think I'd really be affected at all by the switch in positions...I used to be the one auditioning for a spot...but it was a little weirder than I had expected it to be. I was actually there as faculty! Me!.... There were a number of exceptionally talented applicants... and of course, I can't really say anything about anything about them, but I guess I'm just trying to explain why it was such a big deal to me. At first, I tried to be distant, but there was one in particular that I really really really think should get accepted. And I had a personal connection too, as she was a sibling of someone I went to school (undergrad) with. And then there was another that was really talented, but it's not looking like she's a good candidate for other reasons. It's like you really want to go to bat for the really good ones, but unfortunately, the school can't or won't accept everyone and there's only so much scholarship money to go around.

And it's weird how good you feel when the system really comes through for you and you see the really deserving ones get the good scholarships to go to Belmont...and then you feel bad for the ones that don't get them, even if they were really deserving. It just doesn't seem right on some levels...but I suppose you have to pick your battles. And unfortunately, you don't always win. So I've learned a lot this weekend.....

~KMB

My Sweet Valentine.......

2007-02-14T19:55:00.000-06:00

So not feeling very well aside, it's been a pretty nice Valentine's day! My husband made me a yummy dinner tonight and I surprised him with a carrot cake that I made for dessert. I'm not very good with the whole decorating thing, but I gave it my best shot! It looked pretty good, if I do say so myself! It tasted yummy too...and I know he liked it, because he went back for seconds!

I'm hoping that whatever I've got that's making me feel kinda yucky goes away soon....Alan and I are going to go out next week and celebrate V-day without all the crowds at our favorite fondue restaurant, the Melting Pot! It's been ages since we've been there...and I'm craving some of that chocolate fondue!

Happy Valentine's Day!

~KMB

Just another Manic Monday.....

2007-02-12T22:40:00.000-06:00

And thank God it's over!!
I don't know why I hate mondays so much.....maybe just because they're mondays. And it's not as if they're really all that bad...but I'm just glad that it's over and now almost Tuesday!

I had a wonderful weekend though! The Music City Feis was on Satuday (for those who don't know it's an Irish step-dancing competition). Some of my students were competing as was Yun, she's the whistle player and band leader's wife of the celtic/christian band I play with. it was great as I met some of the people that I'll be dancing with in a few weeks when I start back taking lessons! Also, I was able to network with some of the people who planned the feis and are with the Middle Tennessee Irish Arts foundation (or association...whichever one they are!).

On Sunday, after seeing some good friends at Church and having a nice lunch, I went to help my friend Lynne bake some cakes for "Love Helps"...I think it's an organization which helps in need school children as well as buys supplies for the schools that desperately need them in Metro Nashville. It was a lot of fun--although I had to leave a bit early as Alan, my hubby, had committed us to going out with his Composition teacher and his wife. We had a fabulous time and will mostly likely go and do it again soon!

It was a busy and full weekend and no low points at all! I hope this week goes as smoothly as the weekend did....

~KMB

Ah...it's the weekend!

2007-02-10T00:24:00.000-06:00

And I've survived this week! There are some exciting things happening, and I'm really looking forward to this weekend.

So far, I've struck out on the book club thing, but I've got a few possible leads, so I don't mind so much! Also, on a previous post, I mentioned wanting to do the tennis thing...but I can't really find a league or lessons that aren't going to be exceedingly expensive and work with my schedule, so I've been thinking about a new direction.....

Ok, to be honest, it's not exactly new. A few years ago, I started doing some Irish step-dancing and for about a year and a half it was awesome! Then I hurt my foot, the teacher got married and moved to Hawaii, had a baby (the teacher had one...not me), and of course...changed her teaching schedule. So I couldn't seem to make everything fit..and then of course, life intervened and I got swept up in gigs, and wedding plans....and well to make a long story short, I am going to start back into Irish step-dancing lessons with a new teacher!!

I haven't figured it all out yet, but I'm going to make it work!

On another note...the wedding tonight (Friday) went really well. I really miss seeing my friend John. After the wedding, I went out to dinner with John and his wife, Leanne (ok...I may be spelling it completely wrong) but we had a great time! It was nice to hang with friends that I haven't had a chance to see in a really long time!

Ok...so now, another random topic. I was flipping through the Yahoo! News and of course the top story is the death of Anna Nicole Smith. Well, I can't say that I'm really surprised, but it was a bit disturbing to see that even in death, she captured so many headlines. Hopefully that will wear off soon. However, on a blog that I've been following for about a year (although never had the courage to leave a comment) there's a disturbingly funny post about this topic. While it may be in poor taste to pass this on....oh well...it was funny!! Check it out:

http://www.gigglechick.com/erin/blog/2007/02/will_your_dna_hold_up_in_court.php

Now I'm off to bed! The Music City Feis is tomorrow (It's an Irish step-dancing competition) so methinks I'll check it out...especially since there'll be a ceili (Kay-lee...it's a big Irish party) tomorrow night that I think will be fun to play at!

~KMB

FOUND: My Optimism!...among other things....

2007-02-07T00:15:00.000-06:00

Today was sooooo much better than yesterday!

1) I FOUND MY TRIO BOOKS!!!!!! ok...I know that it's really stupid to be so excited, but I looked for them everywhere...and I do mean everywhere! I was about 5 minutes away from ordering them again...and they were kind of expensive...enough so I maybe would have broken even by playing this wedding on Friday....so Thank God I found them!!

I guess that's really the only great thing that happened....it was still a really long day, but I feel a lot better and more optimistic about everything.

Ok...so onto a new topic...and it's not an easy one, so bear with me. I need to get more involved. With life. I work so much...and most of my time is taken up by either teaching, driving to go teach, or traveling to a gig (on weekends). I've noticed that when I do have a free weekend, which is somewhat rare, I have a tendency to spend Saturdays and Sundays in bed...or still in pajamas. I should mention too, that I usually end up spending these weekends alone as my husband leaves for Atlanta to work every Thursday and I don't see him again until Sunday evening. I sometimes have all these grand plans about things I want to do around the house, but nothing ever seems to get done. At first, I used to brush it off, by just saying "well, it's my day off"...but now I'm not so sure.

I first realized that this has been becoming a problem back in November..when friend of mine had a party on a Saturday night for her birthday. I felt a little down for not having many plans, and I didn't have a lot of money, or the energy to go out and do anything on Friday. Saturday came and I was not quite as excited about this party (even though I had rsvp'd that I'd go). I got feeling really lonely again, and as it got worse, the less I wanted to go out. So I made excuses and didn't end up going as I'd spent a lot of time already in tears...just lying there in bed. I felt pathetic...but I really didn't know how to fix it. So...I don't really want to spend another weekend like that...it was definitely a low point for me.

So I want to change. I think I make excuses because I don't want to bother people...but I really do need to get out more. I have in the past not made any plans on weekends, thinking that friends who have also just gotten married are probably busy with their own lives and already have plans. I let myself get swept up in that and it pulls me under...well NO MORE!!! When Alan is around...I never seem to feel this way...so I know that there's something not quite right. I can't just rely on him for all my company...so I'm not going to!

I'm going to join a book club. I've never been in one, but I hope it's going to be fun! I also want to learn to play tennis. I mean, really learn...as opposed to just remember what they tried to teach me in high school. Plus I figure the regular exercise will be good for me and I'll start feeling a lot better! I think I've got a solid lead on the book club thing, so I'm already starting to implement my plan--and it feels really good :) Now onto the tennis idea.....

I know this is a really long post, but I've been needing to vent this for awhile. I'm hoping that by writing it down and putting it out there I will find that a) I'm really not alone and a lot of people feel like this after they get married and b) it will push me to really get off my butt and DO something to change instead of just talking about it.

So thanks for listening/reading....I'll keep you updated!

~KMB

Monday....ughhhhh

2007-02-05T23:09:00.000-06:00

How can a weekend go so great and then Monday be so awful???
I had a bad night Sunday night and so felt really groggy come monday morning and just out of it...everything during the day pretty much went downhill from there.

-I can't seem to find my trio books (2 volumes) for a wedding that I'm playing on Friday evening
-I had some trouble teaching a particularly annoying student today...
-I managed to make a different student cry (somehow bow exercises turned into meltdown)....I think that's pretty much the cherry on top of the crappy day sundae.

I never should have gotten out of bed today...hopefully tomorrow will be better.....

~KMB

Atlanta Irish Music Weekend

2007-02-05T09:51:00.000-06:00

My student and I got back last night from a wonderful trip to Atlanta! Leah placed 2nd in the fiddle at the Atlanta Irish Music Competition held in Alpharetta (North Atlanta)!!!!

We met so many new people and had a wonderful time! After the competition, we were able to jam with many of our new friends at the Harp Irish pub in Roswell, GA before going to hear an awesome concert with piper Tommy Martin, and Fiddler Brian Conway accompanied by pianist and flutist Brendan Dolan. After that, it was back to the Harp for a huge session--where there were so may talented people playing and having fun!!

On Sunday, Leah and I attended a workshop with Brian Conway and it was absolutely amazing! For awhile, there have been aspects of Irish music that I always feel that I am lacking in, and it was really nice to hear from an outside source that I have been doing things right all along!! I also learned more about how I can change simple things such as bowings so it goes better with the phrasing and sounds more "traditional."

I'm going to try to get Brian Conway to come to Nashville and give a workshop and concert at Belmont University--his teaching is absolutely fabulous! This weekend has inspired me in so many ways to do more with my music--and I'm excited to get started! I'm hoping to get some pics back from this weekend and then I will post them here as well!

~KMB

Snow Day....take two

2007-02-02T09:42:00.000-06:00

It's Official...there is snow on the ground! Ok...so it's only really about an inch or two at most, but all the schools have closed for today in Middle Tennessee. It's kind of pretty outside....people are still trying to go out and about (I don't even want to think about the road conditions just yet, especially with TN drivers...) but it's nice because it reminds me of home.

I miss the snow. While I'm not always a huge fan of biting cold....I really do miss the snow. I miss the skiing (the Clarence Ski Club--Deedle convinced me to sign up!), the hot chocolate, the snowball wars, and during that fun 7ft. snowstorm of 2001....I miss digging a tunnel! (Granted, the ceiling fell on poor Megan...hehe...but what a sight that was!!)

It's these times that I look back and I remember all the fun I had as a child....and I look forward to making those kinds of memories with my children (it might be a few years...but that's alright!)...although I already know that we won't get much snow at all when we move to Atlanta!

Speaking of Atlanta....I'm headed there for the weekend! I have a student competing in the Atlanta Irish Music Competition in Alpharetta, GA (just north of Atlanta) and so we're off this afternoon :) I have to get some laundry done before we leave, so I'd better get going!!

~KMB

Aloha and Mahalo.....

2007-02-02T00:34:00.000-06:00

As I was trying to add more pics to my computer, I found the last file (that Alan finally downloaded from the camera the other night) of the honeymoon pics...Yay!! I finally get to see our pictures from the second week in Hawaii--on Big Island in Kona!

We stayed at a wonderful time share (that Alan's parents have) and they always have fun things scheduled going on at the resort...like learning to make fresh floral leis and learning about the native Hawaiian music, language, and dance! Alan and I attended one of these and since we were on our honeymoon, they had us do the special "marriage ceremony" where you place the Lei that each of you made around your spouse's neck. I was surprised that Alan actually wore the lei for at least five minutes! So here are some of the pictures....Enjoy!

This is the view from the patio where we made Leis!

This is part of the Hawaiian Marriage Ceremony....apparently it was very easy to get married in the Polynesian culture!

Ending the ceremony with a kiss!

Hehe...here's one of Alan. I'm not sure he even knows I'm posting these...isn't he gorgeous though?!!!...and I made the Lei he's wearing!

These were the women in charge of teaching us all about native Hawaiian culture!

Anyways, I have a few more that were from the 12-hour volcano tour we took, but it's getting to be past my bedtime! I'll save those for another post :) It's exciting for me to actually be able to fnally see and post these pictures!

Aloha and Mahalo.....
~KMB

Snow Day????

2007-02-01T09:16:00.000-06:00

I still can't get over this-- today, most schools are closed in middle TN for a snow day...but the kicker??? THERE'S NO SNOW!! I live in Davidson Co. (this is the county that Nashville is located in).....it is one of maybe five counties in TN that did NOT close for a snow day, because someone (who obviously was able to look out the window and think logically) said, "Let's not close school until there's ACTUALLY snow!"

Ok...so the one thing since moving down to TN that I will never get used to is Tennesseans' stupid reactions to a snow forecast. Maybe I'm just used to lots of snow, but if snow is pretty much even whispered in a forecast, most schools are closing and people start freaking out! I generally like to wait until there is actually something to freak out about...but that's just me.

However, this does put me in something of a quandry. I teach on Thursdays in a nice little place outside of Nashville called Hermitage. (Yes, it's just down the road from President Andrew Jackson's historic home). But I digress. Anyways, the area of Hermitage where I teach sits on the border of Davidson Co. and Wilson Co....and a lot of my students are split down the middle as far as which county they go to school in. So, now the question becomes...because Wilson Co. schools closed but Davidson Co. did not, do I too, cancel for the day or go and teach?? I go and teach! (Especially since there's NO SNOW!) I'm just not looking forward to calling all the parents to convince them that it's ok to venture out and we're still on for today....ah well....such is life.

And a little background please......

2007-01-30T21:58:00.000-06:00

So I'm now living in Nashville and have been since the Summer of 2002, when I moved to start my Master's...and Thank the Good Lord that's done. I'm all for a bit of academic hoop-jumping, but people please...luckily I graduated in 2005!

Anyways, while in the last year of my master's, I met my wonderful husband and we got married July 22nd, 2006. I promise to post some pics soon (my wonderful MIL just scanned out entire collection of pics onto discs so now I just have to sort them.) Here's a couple of pics from the Honeymoon though...until I can get some of the wedding ones up! We spent two weeks in Hawaii--on Oahu and Big Island in Kona...and had a wonderful time!

This is the view from our 3rd floor balcony on Oahu the first week in Hawaii. I miss that place!!

Here's one of Alan just chillin' on the balcony after a long day of playing tourist! Isn't he cute?

This one was taken at the Luau at the Polynesian Cultural Center on Oahu. We had a blast...but Alan doesn't like this picture!!

And of course, here's a pic of me trying to learn how to surf. I got really badly sunburned after that lesson and Alan had to take care of me!!

Here's a few from our Waterfall tour while on Big Island. It was lots of fun...although some days it was really windy!!!

These are of Alan and me standing behind a 500ft. waterfall in North Kohala on the Big Island...it was absolutely beautiful...and we got soaked!!

We did get to see some volcanoes, but I can't seem to get those pics loaded...I'll try to add them another time!

I'm teaching at Belmont University again this semester (where I got my master's) as an adjunct instructor of celtic fiddle. I have a few classical students too, and I've discovered that I really like teaching at the undergraduate and graduate levels! I also maintain a number of students outside of Belmont and I play with a couple of different bands--mostly celtic. (More on those in another post!) I think it's about time I sign off of here...I ended up staying up way too late last night figuring this thing out--I need to get some sleep tonight! Enjoy!!

~KMB

My first blog...well, sorta

2007-01-30T00:26:00.000-06:00

Ok...so I'm considering this to be "Officially" my first blog. It isn't really, however. I actually have a blog on my website at www.kimberlyhaller.com, although it's really not the same. I can't just write about anything on that blog though, since it's more of a professional site/blog...so I have to have something REALLY good to post on that one. Hence, this is my first REAL blog...I can write anything I want! Yay! I'm wearing purple underwear.....(not really, but it was fun to write.)

I have to admit something though...I probably would not have even thought about starting a blog had it not all happened by accident! I was attempting to comment on a friend's blog, and as I went to try to publish my comment, I had to sign up for an account and the next thing I know, I have a blog! Now all I have to do is figure out how to get a cool template that I can actually stand, post pics (I like blogs that have pictures on them, so of course, mine has to have that too!), and then keep up with this thing.

So please bear with me.....I haven't even managed to figure out how to put a background on my myspace page though, so this might take awhile!

~KMB

I wonder if anyone will even read this? or comment? Is anyone even out there?