Update

So I know I've been a bit down as of late due to the ole' family situation and I really appreciate everyone's kind thoughts and prayers! (Twolilhahas, thanks so much for your comment!) I again, realized how bad I've been about leaving these updates...but I have to be honest--I didn't think anyone actually read my blog (silly me!).

Anyways, Dad got quite a bit better during his 15-day stay in the hospital, which we were happy about since there were a few days that, at the time, made it look like he might not come home at all. And of course, me being 750 miles away in Nashville, doesn't help my emotional state.

So he was finally able to come home last week and since that time, My mother has informed me that he seems to have slid downhill pretty fast. It seems that while in the hospital, they get him feeling really good on these powerful steriods (so he thinks he's better) and then they cut him back down once he's home. He's now huffing and puffing again and complaining (I swear my mother's a saint to even put up with it!) and he's being his usual charming self (read dripping sarcasm here.)

I'm headed home on Monday for a week and I'm really glad that I'll have a good chance to see both my parents. I'm worried a bit about my mom. I don't think she stands up to my dad enough and he tries to control everything, partly because he really doesn't have much left that he CAN control. It's sad to see really. So anyhoo...that's about it.

I've been working a lot (teaching, gigging, etc.). We finally finished up the String Crossings Camp at Belmont, which for those that don't know, it's a string camp for highschoolers who want to learn to play classical, jazz/rock, and bluegrass/country/Irish fiddle. It was a very successful week, but after staying in the dorms with those kids, I'm very tired!

I have a few more non-medical updates that I'll try to post later, but I've got to run and go teach a violin lesson!

~KMB

The journey of death

So I've been really bad at blogging the past few months. I have no real excuse except for life. Life kind of got in the way, and I just never got around to sitting down to write much.

Here's an update:

I worked a lot until the end of the semester and stayed busy....money for bills is ALWAYS a good thing.

I saw my dad over Mother's day weekend...he's not doing good. He was worse then than when I saw him in April at the funeral in chicago. It seems like he's sliding downhill faster and faster these days....and there's nothing I can do to help.

The worst part of life is watching someone die a little bit at a time and knowing that there's not a damn thing you can do to stop it.

He's going into the hospital today (or should be) because he's so dehydrated that he's shutting his kidneys down. He was supposed to go yesterday (per doctors orders), but being the curmudgeon that he is, didn't want to go...as he hates the ER.
And unfortunately, my mother, who is his caregiver, can't just pick him up and take him to the hospital. He still has the right to refuse treatment...yada yada yada.

So anyways, back to reality. Dad was so sick today that he finally agreed (or so we all thought) to go to the hospital this afternoon. However, as of this afternoon, he was still being an idiot and he won't go. Anyways, I'm just hoping that he hasn't damaged his kidneys so badly that he's going to need dialysis, because that opens up a new kind of Hell that neither mom nor dad really needs.

Mom thinks he's giving up on life. At this point, I think I almost agree with her as he's really not eating much and he's losing too much weight. I wish my mom and I weren't on this emotional rollercoaster right along with him...it sucks.

And the worst part? Unless he's on his death bed...I can't really afford to go home until July. I wish I could fly home today (if I weren't sick myself--some virus that doctor thinks was helped partly by stress)...but I already bought my tickets for the first week in July. I'm just hoping he makes it that long. And if I need to go home...well, I'll cross that bridge when I have to...we'll figure something out.

Anyways....so that's life at the moment. And from my view...everything pretty much sucks.

~KMB