The journey of death

So I've been really bad at blogging the past few months. I have no real excuse except for life. Life kind of got in the way, and I just never got around to sitting down to write much.

Here's an update:

I worked a lot until the end of the semester and stayed busy....money for bills is ALWAYS a good thing.

I saw my dad over Mother's day weekend...he's not doing good. He was worse then than when I saw him in April at the funeral in chicago. It seems like he's sliding downhill faster and faster these days....and there's nothing I can do to help.

The worst part of life is watching someone die a little bit at a time and knowing that there's not a damn thing you can do to stop it.

He's going into the hospital today (or should be) because he's so dehydrated that he's shutting his kidneys down. He was supposed to go yesterday (per doctors orders), but being the curmudgeon that he is, didn't want to go...as he hates the ER.
And unfortunately, my mother, who is his caregiver, can't just pick him up and take him to the hospital. He still has the right to refuse treatment...yada yada yada.

So anyways, back to reality. Dad was so sick today that he finally agreed (or so we all thought) to go to the hospital this afternoon. However, as of this afternoon, he was still being an idiot and he won't go. Anyways, I'm just hoping that he hasn't damaged his kidneys so badly that he's going to need dialysis, because that opens up a new kind of Hell that neither mom nor dad really needs.

Mom thinks he's giving up on life. At this point, I think I almost agree with her as he's really not eating much and he's losing too much weight. I wish my mom and I weren't on this emotional rollercoaster right along with him...it sucks.

And the worst part? Unless he's on his death bed...I can't really afford to go home until July. I wish I could fly home today (if I weren't sick myself--some virus that doctor thinks was helped partly by stress)...but I already bought my tickets for the first week in July. I'm just hoping he makes it that long. And if I need to go home...well, I'll cross that bridge when I have to...we'll figure something out.

Anyways....so that's life at the moment. And from my view...everything pretty much sucks.

~KMB