Good News!

Thanks to everyone for your wonderful thoughts, prayers, and comments :)

I finally talked to mom last night around 7:30ish and she was home and tired, but doing well. She was in a bit more pain than she expected, but she told me that the doctor had found another spot that looked suspicious, so he scooped that part out as well. She also got in and out of the surgery faster due to an 80 yr old woman who accidentally pulled the needle out of the surgical spot while trying to put her hospital gown on. That poor woman had to go back out to Williamsville to have another needle placed at the surgical site...ughh. But, because of that they prepped my mom for surgery and she went in almost two hours earlier than expected!

We're not sure if that extra spot will affect the radiation plan for a week from now, but all we can do is wait. At least she's through the really hard part!

Please Pray....

My mother's surgery is tomorrow. Thankfully they didn't find any other spots of breast cancer and so it will only be a lumpectomy on the one side. I feel grateful to be able to say that it's no big deal, but I'm struggling with the fact that I can't be there for her tomorrow and during the radiation and everything. I feel as if I'm letting her down somehow, even though I'm not sure there is anything I could do if I were there.

I feel really helpless. All I can do is pray. So please, keep my mom in your prayers and send good thoughts her way! Hopefully I'll have more news to post by Tuesday night (after her surgery).

Who Cares if You Listen....

That's the title of our new podcast! My husband had this idea of doing a podcast about art music and wanted to put a panel together. So of course I said sure, not entirely knowing what this would be about. And it turns out, it's one of the more interesting things that I've been doing lately :)

We have a very 'eclectic' panel of people...ranging from people who are involved with rock, r&b, prog rock, classical, bluegrass, irish (that would be me!), etc., and when you put all of us together....well, you never quite know what will happen! The first episode came out at the beginning of June and yesterday we recorded the material for the next few episodes. It was definitely interesting!

I wish there was just an easy way to explain what the podcast was about, but I think it's still defining itself. The original idea was supposed to only be about art music and why people should or shouldn't listen...and I think it's morphed into so much more than that! It's become a roundtable discussion of musical ideas, including those of pop music, and a way for people to really say what they think!

You can check us out at http://whocaresifyoulisten.com or you can find our podcast on iTunes in the music section. Please take a listen and let me know what you think!

Back in the ATL

And so the string camp is ended! It was a great week, but exhausting. I was still sick on Sunday when camp started and my icky viral throat infection turned into an even yuckier sinus infection, so now I have a Z-pack. I love drugs! At least the ones that make me better, that is. I really needed to stay on my feet this week, so thankfully it worked!

We had 36 campers this year, which is WAY more than we've had in the past! It was awesome--I heard soooo much great music ranging from fiddle to rock to jazz to classical and helped the kiddies learn how to fiddle, both old-time and Irish style. There were lots of awkward/funny moments, which always happens when you first try to get classically trained budding musicians to "swing"...especially when they're violists!

Anyhoo, the final concert was a blast and then the remaining campers (there were only four staying over until Saturday) went out for some food in Hillsboro Village (right near Belmont University). After finally getting them off to the airport/meeting their parents I was able to get on the road back to Hotlanta...and now I think I could sleep for a week :)

I have a few great pics to post, but that will have to wait until I can get them uploaded from my camera....until next time!

Back to the Grind...or something like that!

Well, it's back to work for me, I suppose! I got back to Atlanta on Friday, still trying to recover from whatever bug I came down with at the end of my Buffalo stay :( I wish that my time there hadn't ended with me feeling so awful, but I didn't have too many choices on that score!

And so now I'm attempting to do laundry and pack quickly as I'm headed back to Nashville today to teach the String Crossings Camp at Belmont this week. It should be a really good week. It's a group of high school kids from all over the country, and usually they're a pretty good bunch. (I should know as this is my fourth or fifth year teaching at the camp!)

At any rate, I just wish I were feeling 100%......

A Plethora of Good news....or maybe just news....

Ok, so I mentioned in the last post I had news. And I do :) I was just way too tired and wrung out emotionally to post any more yesterday.

My mom got the test results back yesterday from the second biopsy and the tumor is benign!! Which means that there is absolutely no change for the surgery and it can be rescheduled soon...and it will ONLY be a lumpectomy as far as anyone is saying, which is GREAT news!! They caught the cancer early enough that mom won't even need to have chemotherapy...only radiation and that's only precautionary!

I'm also excited about the new podcast that my husband and I and a number of other friends have just launched. It's called "Who Cares if You Listen?" and it's a discussion of art music, made up of a panel of people from ALL different walks of life. Check out our website at You can also find the podcast in the iTunes store and it's Free to download :)

Let me know what you think! It was a fun thing to record--I had a really great time just sitting down with everyone and having interesting discussions, though we didn't always stay on topic!

And so today "It" happened....

I had a tiny nervous breakdown. I suppose it wasn't really a nervous breakdown, but everything sort of built up to a head and I kind of lost it. Not the screaming, lose-your-mind kind of thing, but it was more the overwhelming, straw-that-broke-the -camel's-back, find yourself a huge box of tissues and chocolates kind of thing.

I think it's been the strain of the past four to five months, starting with the time I decided that I should probably go back to school to start my doctorate in February. I applied, and after finding out I had to take the GRE again, bought the books to study and tried to get everything organized and pinned down. And then it just seemed that every time I tried to study or prepare, there was always something else that popped up that was more important. And usually whatever it was, truly DID have to be done sooner. Unfortunately, it didn't leave much time for GRE study. Or ease my fear of the Quantitative (math) sections.

So I hired a tutor. or tried to. It wasn't until the end of May/early June that I was able to find one...moving to a new city and all. And cramming, my friends, really does NOT work. Hence my current situation. I thought all was well and have been studying for the past few weeks, and today I took a full-length practice test, minus the essays. And my mom helped me score it. (Mind you, I was supposed to take the actual GRE this coming Wednesday, while at home in Buffalo). Right after I finished the second section, I got a phone call from the Testing center. Realize that it's probably not good news if they're calling you. And it wasn't. My test was cancelled due to technical difficulties. So I panicked. And then heaved a sigh of relief when they called a few minutes later to reschedule. Until we finished scoring those two sections.

Now, I know I'm not stupid, but after grading the math section I really felt like it. And it took me back to the first time I took one of those awful tests...the dreaded SAT, and getting my scores for the math. I remember the day I got them in the mail and my father's response after I opened them. I got a 520, which isn't great, and he was so kind to point out how poorly he thought I'd done. And then he called me an idiot. So fast forward to today and, after looking at my math score...a 520 seemed like gold...it was like I could hear my dad's voice in my head...and everything just fell apart. I know I shouldn't speak ill of the dead, especially since he was my father, but what kind of person actually calls their child an idiot??? Anyways.....

So after a lot of tears and chocolate and diet coke (I fell off the wagon on that addiction), I decided to defer my grad school application to January. I realized, after finally calming down that it's just not worth it and I'm pushing for no really good reason. Why is it we can't really see clearly until everything seems to fall apart? At any rate, at least I've made a decision and have a new goal to work towards.

More news tomorrow, but this post is already too long...

A New Beginning....

And so the Nashville chapter of my life has ended and I'm starting the next one. Alan and I moved two weeks ago to Atlanta. Permanently. Or at least as permanently as I suppose it can be. I could, given a few years, perhaps talk him into going back to Nashville...but I have this sad, heavy little feeling that it's just not going to happen.

Moving on...I'm still not done unpacking. I have no idea when that will happen, but it probably won't happen within the next week! Most likely because I'm spending time now in Buffalo with my mom. She was supposed to have a lumpectomy this past Thursday, but after yet another test, this time an MRI, they found another couple of spots to biopsy. And so we wait. Hopefully we'll know something by Monday or Tuesday, and they'll be able to then reschedule the surgery. The bad news is that I probably won't be able to be home for that, since I have a few other commitments coming up that I can't get out of.

I like being home and being somewhat pampered though! Mom, in preparation of my visit, went and bought all of my favorite foods. And while I'm grateful..I'm so going to have to get back on the ball with walking and tennis to not gain at least twenty pounds while I'm home!


Speaking of walking....

I'm going to be walking in the 3-day Breast Cancer Walk this October in Atlanta! I'm training with my team, The Headlight Preservation Society, and we'll be walking 60 miles over the course of 3 days!

Please please visit my personal page for the event and consider making a donation to the cause!