Anniversaries.....

So I know it's been a long time since I've put anything new up. And I mean to blog, I really do. I just don't always have things to say that are profound, or even relatively interesting.

But today is different and I thought it was noteworthy. We all have anniversaries of sorts, and not just the marriage kind. There's the anniversary of the first date, the first christmas, the first kiss. We celebrate birthdays, and lifetime achievements and milestones. Well, today is a milestone for me. Today was the one year anniversary of my father's death.

It has been a roller-coaster of a day on several different levels. I tried to completely forget that this was coming, and well, it just didn't work. My subconscious wouldn't let me forget and there were times this week I truly became anxious, wondering what today would be like for me.

So what was it like? It was sad. I kept myself very busy today (after all, I still have finals to give at school) and tried not to think of it. But it was in those quiet moments in the morning, and the down-times during class that it would sneak in. I thought about where I was at this time last year, and what I was doing. I thought about the last memories that I have of my dad and re-lived both the good times and the bad.

And while it was sad, I felt an overwhelming sense of relief and accomplishment at the same time. I have survived the first year! There are no more "firsts" without my dad. Everything after today has been done once before and I'm finding comfort in that. It was truly surreal for me to realize that I needed to acknowledge that accomplishment too.

So there it is. And now that the day is almost done, I'm thankful that it happened. It gave me time to reflect and re-live so much. I'm still feeling a bit melancholy and very very tired, but I feel more settled and at peace about things than I have for a long time.....

MMMM....Bread!

I am, without a doubt, a breadmaker extraordinaire!!! Ok, so maybe I shouldn't go that far, but seriously? The cinnamon raisin bread I made was awesome! It was like magic: I put the ingredients in the machine last night (in a particular order) and Abra Cadabra, Poof, Yummy smelling bread woke me up this morning at 9:30am...all in all, a very good morning :) I also made a second loaf for just me and the hubby and ended up giving the rest of the first loaf to my mom-in-law. She did let me borrow the breadmaker, after all. (and the second loaf is just as yummy as the first one was!).


Now onwards to the very few downsides: 1) It's a lot noisier than you're actually led to believe. I actually woke up at 6 this morning because the paddle in the bread pan had started the "kneading" phase. That, and the alarm that lets you know you can add the raisins in went off around then. Of course, I didn't need to add the raisins, because in the book it told me to put them in last night (around the outside of the breadpan, away from the yeast) since I was setting it up to delay the baking. Apparently there's no "I'm setting this for delay" button that will turn off the alarm...hehe.

So that was mildly annoying, but I ended up shutting the bedroom door as well as turning the thermostat down so the air kicked on. I was so hoping that the noise (the churning paddle and the raisin alarm) hadn't awakened my husband since he had to be up at the butt-crack of dawn for his church gig, but no such luck. I also thought that the air conditioning kicking on might mask the noise of the breadmaker, but I was informed this afternoon (on the way to meet the in-laws for lunch) that I'm now not allowed to make bread on the days that he has to be up early in the morning! hehe...I guess he didn't sleep very well after that. Live and learn I say...but how was I supposed to know how noisy it was??? I think the problem might also be that we live in a small one bedroom condo and the kitchen is pretty much right outside of our bedroom door.


Anyhoo, there is really only one other downside, and this pretty much only pertains to me..and because we live in said small condo. I don't have anywhere to store the breadmaker. Right now it's sitting on top of our stove and eventually we're going to need to use the stove...like tomorrow. I tried to find cupboard storage, but we're pretty packed into this place. I'll find someplace to put it, so we can manage, but I don't think the hubby will be up for getting a breadmaker of our own just yet. Ah well...at least I don't have to give this one back just yet!!!

Birthday Surprises and Bread.....

So I'll start with the Birthday Surprises :) I would have updated sooner, but I've been busy playing catch up for being gone for a long weekend :)

I made the 14 hour trip (driving, of course) to throw my mom a surprise 60th birthday party! It came at a good time (besides being about a week after her actual birthday), because she was getting a little down on herself. She's still getting over the radiation and lumpectomy surgery and finds that she's really tired al the time. Apparently she's been sleeping almost 16-18 hours a day and it's bugging her that this is happening and ruining her summer. So the party was not only a huge surprise, but a great pick-me-up!

I managed to plan this without her even suspecting and had the many people who couldn't be there send cards to my aunt's address. I had a few moments of panic when I thought she might have some idea, but I think I was just being paranoid, because the look on her face when she walked into the room and a little over 70 people (from all parts of mom's life) yelled surprise was TRULY priceless :) I think she was most surprised to see me, since I had kinda lied and talked to her about how I had just "given" a midterm the day before in Atlanta...hehe...I TOTALLY had her fooled!

Anyways, the food was fabulous--my friend Alexis did most of it, and the whole party turned out to be a huge success :) The best part? I got to spend the rest of the weekend at home with mom! It was definitely a long drive, but oh so worth it! I even got to see my senior year roomie and her husband in my stopover in Cleveland as well as another friend in Nashville on the way back.

So all in all, a good little trip with a great party!

Onwards to the bread....

After reading a post on my friend Deedle's blog about making fresh bread, I was truly intrigued. I looked into buying a breadmaker at the local goodwill...except there wasn't one. And, after looking at Target, it was just a bit too expensive....

So then, on a whim, I mentioned my interest to the mother-in-law today, and was amazed to find out she owned one...and then she offered to let me borrow hers so I could try it out before buying my own. How cool is that? My mother-in-law is great :) On top of that, she started giving me a bunch of ingredients I would need to make the cinnamon raisin bread that I wanted to try, and I only had to stop and get a few things she didn't have. So when I wake up tomorrow I should have some yummy cinnamon raisin bread!...unless something goes terribly wrong, but I guess we'll find out tomorrow :)

I'll update you once I find out how the experiment goes! Wish me luck!!

The 2008 Summer Olympics

Ok, so I have to start by saying that I've not always been around during the summers of Olympics. Some summers I've been abroad, others I've been working at some music camp (no surprise, really) but this summer, I'm excited to actually be home to watch the Olympics! I've always loved to try and tune in whenever possible, because I have to admit it, the Olympics FASCINATE me. I ADORE watching the gymnastics, espeically since I used to be a gymnast.

"What's that you say?" Yes, it's true. When I was young, I was really really into gymnastics...and then I turned 12 and reality hit. I realized then how NOT flexible I really was and I turned more towards music. ( smart move, I'd say!) And so I don't tend to pay much attention to beach volleyball/tennis/badminton, etc...but I like to watch gymnastics and swimming...or whatever I can catch on tv!

Ok, Back to the 2008 Olympics: I watched a bit last night after we finished recording the podcast and I truly saw champions compete when I watched the men's 4 X 100 relay. Now, I've never been the hugest fan of swimming, but It was AMAZING!!! And what made it better?? Perhaps it was watching men in speedo's slice through water so quickly? no, ohhhh no. It was watching the Americans kick French ass after said Frenchies were talking smack about smashing the Americans. Didn't they seem a bit quiet after they lost??? hehe...it was something to see, that's for sure! It gave me goosebumps to watch--I was so proud of our American team!!!

I did catch a bit of the gymnastics, at the end of the evening, but I missed the afternoon stuff due to recording...we had a bunch of people over to record our podcast, "Who Cares if You LIsten?" (ok, shameless self-plug...) Check us out at www.whocaresifyoulisten.com and you can subscribe to our podcast through iTunes!

So I'm going to end this by mentioning that it's taking me awhile to get it written because I'm watching the Olympics while typing! I just watched Michael Phelps (amazing swimmer) win his 9th career gold metal, though I think it's only his 3rd of this Olympics..and it was in the freestyle. And he just finished a minute ago winning the Men's 200 meter Butterfly semi-finals :) He's so much fun to watch swim :) I just can't believe he really has a 6 foot 7-inch wing span...or that they'd tell us that...

Now we're back to Gymnastics...it's the men...but even that's kinda fun to watch. I'm definitely going to tune in on Wednesday for the women's finals in Gymnastics!! I love the Summer Olympics!! Go Team USA!!!

Work, among other things....

So I guess I lied a little bit about updating as quickly as I thought I could--work got in the way!

Anyways, I had a FABULOUS time at Agatha's mystery dinner theater! It was a bit pricey, but well worth it!

The play we saw was called "Harry Plotter and the Half-Wit Princess".....so let's just say it was more of a comedy with a murder thrown in than anything else. Everyone had a part to play, which was cool, cuz I got to be Peter Panic!! Ok, so when we first walked in, they asked us which of us was the more outgoing, and (cough), after my hubby pointed to me, I was given this pretty cool part. And the part my husband received, well it was with about 50 other people...let's just call it the "chorus" part.

At any rate, it's definitely something we would do again for special occasions!

So that's about it for that. As for everything else, we're into week 4 in a 10 week term at the Art Institute and I'm not looking forward to making up those midterms and then grading them all! I've got to get everything set up for the sub (my hubby) to cover the classes while I'm out of town....I've got a relatively fun "event" coming up, but I will say no more, for fear of ruining a great surprise! I promise to blog about it once it's over with in a few weeks.

On another note...I have just realized some disappointing news. I really really wanted to go to my 10 year high school reunion this summer on Labor Day weekend (I know, I know...you're laughing at me) but, well, it turns out it's the same weekend as a film festival that my husband has gotten his recent short film entered into. I know I need to be there for family loyalty and all that. Plus, I can't exactly afford to come back to Buffalo for Labor Day weekend, (partly because of this upcoming "event") and I'm very sad about it. Stupid huh? I guess there's always the 20 year right?

Anniversaries.....

So I haven't updated in a few days because work has been really busy, but I thought I'd leave a little update. Today Alan and I are celebrating our 2nd wedding anniversary! Actually we celebrated a bit last night by going out to the Melting Pot (a yummy fondue restaurant that we both love--Alan took me to the one in Nashville on the night he proposed) and we're going to Agatha's mystery dinner theater tomorrow night....I've always wanted to go, so I'm really excited about it! We are getting to celebrate twice because we can't actually go out tonight, and methinks the hubby feels a wee bit guilty about that!

I promise to give another update after the Agatha's mystery dinner theater...until then, I've got to go prep for my classes tomorrow..ughh.

And We're Off!

Not to the races, however. Today started the summer term at the Art Institute of Atlanta, but it felt like something of a race. I was excited for the start of the classes, but in order to get everything settled I had to visit three or four different offices on different floors...which felt a bit like I was racing around like a chicken with my head cut off. I think that they purposely send you around to see several different people, each one sending you back to the person you just saw...and the powers-that-be sit around laughing as they watch you scurry back-and-forth.

Anyways....I think I finally got most things settled! Class went well and I lucked out this term--the classes I teach are only on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday...so I get to have a few days off too! (Although I think I'm going to try to pick up a number of new students to supplement the income!)

Even though I'm getting used to teaching the summer quarters, I still feel weird, because it seems like I should still be on vacation.....

I guess that's what happens when you teach semesters at colleges and then only teach certain weeks of the summer! Ah well....

I'm quite proud of myself though because I had a goal to cook more once we got settled in one city and it's going well so far! I'm trying to find a good local farmer's market (thanks to Deedle!) and I say good, because I'm having a bit of trouble on that score. I managed to find a really neat international farmer's market pretty close to the condo, but I didn't really have a good experience there. Maybe I'll try it again in a few weeks, but I've got a couple of other options to try first (and they're even closer to our condo than the international place.)

I'm also trying to grow some of my own vegetables! My violin/fiddle students gave me a large pot of herbs with a tomato and a pepper plant as a going away present before I left Nashville. I ended up transplanting the tomato plant into its own pot and bought another cherry tomato plant (which I like better than regular tomatoes) and a bell pepper plant. It's something of an experiment to see if I can grow things successfully, but so far I've already gotten a nice banana pepper from the plant my students gave me! I'm hoping that perhaps by August or early September I'll have some tomatoes and bell peppers too!

So that's the news here...I wish it was more exciting....alas I'll try to spice it up in the next post!

4th of July.....

Happy 4th of July!!

I am just having a nostalgic moment and remembering the days of old...the parades, the fireworks (yes, even the illegal ones we set off), the hot dogs, ice cream, and the sparklers that we kids loved to wave around in the dark!

This year the hubby and I went into Historic Norcross (the town in which we live) to see the festival and fireworks last night. Apparently, the town used to have the celebration on the 4th, but was in too much competition with the fireworks and hullaballoo from Lawrenceville...another town just north of Norcross (which is also the county seat...I guess that means they have bigger fireworks???) So Norcross moved their festival to July 3rd. I think it makes for double the celebrations myself...as you know we're not really going to just sit around on the ACTUAL 4th holiday...that would be silly :) And unpatriotic...or something like that.

At any rate, we had a great time! There were tons of people and cotton candy (which of course I had to get), and funnel cakes (which I so wisely stayed away from) and a really bad band trying to play fleetwood mac covers. It had everything :) Even the fireworks were pretty cool!

Today we're off to a friend's house about 45 minutes north of us, to see his new house and hang out with some of my husband's friends that we haven't seen in awhile. I'm sure it'll be good times, with lots of wine/beer and hot dogs/hamburgers. Methinks we'll also try to catch some other fireworks later tonight in downtown Historic Roswell--another historical town very close to where we live. They'll have something similar to Norcross' event, I think, so I guess that means more cotton candy and maybe a funnel cake with my fireworks!

Methinks I'm turning into a fireworks junkie. Or perhaps, I'm just there for the food :)

I hope that everyone (or whoever reads this) has a safe and happy 4th of July!

Good News!

Thanks to everyone for your wonderful thoughts, prayers, and comments :)

I finally talked to mom last night around 7:30ish and she was home and tired, but doing well. She was in a bit more pain than she expected, but she told me that the doctor had found another spot that looked suspicious, so he scooped that part out as well. She also got in and out of the surgery faster due to an 80 yr old woman who accidentally pulled the needle out of the surgical spot while trying to put her hospital gown on. That poor woman had to go back out to Williamsville to have another needle placed at the surgical site...ughh. But, because of that they prepped my mom for surgery and she went in almost two hours earlier than expected!

We're not sure if that extra spot will affect the radiation plan for a week from now, but all we can do is wait. At least she's through the really hard part!

Please Pray....

My mother's surgery is tomorrow. Thankfully they didn't find any other spots of breast cancer and so it will only be a lumpectomy on the one side. I feel grateful to be able to say that it's no big deal, but I'm struggling with the fact that I can't be there for her tomorrow and during the radiation and everything. I feel as if I'm letting her down somehow, even though I'm not sure there is anything I could do if I were there.

I feel really helpless. All I can do is pray. So please, keep my mom in your prayers and send good thoughts her way! Hopefully I'll have more news to post by Tuesday night (after her surgery).

Who Cares if You Listen....

That's the title of our new podcast! My husband had this idea of doing a podcast about art music and wanted to put a panel together. So of course I said sure, not entirely knowing what this would be about. And it turns out, it's one of the more interesting things that I've been doing lately :)

We have a very 'eclectic' panel of people...ranging from people who are involved with rock, r&b, prog rock, classical, bluegrass, irish (that would be me!), etc., and when you put all of us together....well, you never quite know what will happen! The first episode came out at the beginning of June and yesterday we recorded the material for the next few episodes. It was definitely interesting!

I wish there was just an easy way to explain what the podcast was about, but I think it's still defining itself. The original idea was supposed to only be about art music and why people should or shouldn't listen...and I think it's morphed into so much more than that! It's become a roundtable discussion of musical ideas, including those of pop music, and a way for people to really say what they think!

You can check us out at http://whocaresifyoulisten.com or you can find our podcast on iTunes in the music section. Please take a listen and let me know what you think!

Back in the ATL

And so the string camp is ended! It was a great week, but exhausting. I was still sick on Sunday when camp started and my icky viral throat infection turned into an even yuckier sinus infection, so now I have a Z-pack. I love drugs! At least the ones that make me better, that is. I really needed to stay on my feet this week, so thankfully it worked!

We had 36 campers this year, which is WAY more than we've had in the past! It was awesome--I heard soooo much great music ranging from fiddle to rock to jazz to classical and helped the kiddies learn how to fiddle, both old-time and Irish style. There were lots of awkward/funny moments, which always happens when you first try to get classically trained budding musicians to "swing"...especially when they're violists!

Anyhoo, the final concert was a blast and then the remaining campers (there were only four staying over until Saturday) went out for some food in Hillsboro Village (right near Belmont University). After finally getting them off to the airport/meeting their parents I was able to get on the road back to Hotlanta...and now I think I could sleep for a week :)

I have a few great pics to post, but that will have to wait until I can get them uploaded from my camera....until next time!

Back to the Grind...or something like that!

Well, it's back to work for me, I suppose! I got back to Atlanta on Friday, still trying to recover from whatever bug I came down with at the end of my Buffalo stay :( I wish that my time there hadn't ended with me feeling so awful, but I didn't have too many choices on that score!

And so now I'm attempting to do laundry and pack quickly as I'm headed back to Nashville today to teach the String Crossings Camp at Belmont this week. It should be a really good week. It's a group of high school kids from all over the country, and usually they're a pretty good bunch. (I should know as this is my fourth or fifth year teaching at the camp!)

At any rate, I just wish I were feeling 100%......

A Plethora of Good news....or maybe just news....

Ok, so I mentioned in the last post I had news. And I do :) I was just way too tired and wrung out emotionally to post any more yesterday.

My mom got the test results back yesterday from the second biopsy and the tumor is benign!! Which means that there is absolutely no change for the surgery and it can be rescheduled soon...and it will ONLY be a lumpectomy as far as anyone is saying, which is GREAT news!! They caught the cancer early enough that mom won't even need to have chemotherapy...only radiation and that's only precautionary!

I'm also excited about the new podcast that my husband and I and a number of other friends have just launched. It's called "Who Cares if You Listen?" and it's a discussion of art music, made up of a panel of people from ALL different walks of life. Check out our website at You can also find the podcast in the iTunes store and it's Free to download :)

Let me know what you think! It was a fun thing to record--I had a really great time just sitting down with everyone and having interesting discussions, though we didn't always stay on topic!

And so today "It" happened....

I had a tiny nervous breakdown. I suppose it wasn't really a nervous breakdown, but everything sort of built up to a head and I kind of lost it. Not the screaming, lose-your-mind kind of thing, but it was more the overwhelming, straw-that-broke-the -camel's-back, find yourself a huge box of tissues and chocolates kind of thing.

I think it's been the strain of the past four to five months, starting with the time I decided that I should probably go back to school to start my doctorate in February. I applied, and after finding out I had to take the GRE again, bought the books to study and tried to get everything organized and pinned down. And then it just seemed that every time I tried to study or prepare, there was always something else that popped up that was more important. And usually whatever it was, truly DID have to be done sooner. Unfortunately, it didn't leave much time for GRE study. Or ease my fear of the Quantitative (math) sections.

So I hired a tutor. or tried to. It wasn't until the end of May/early June that I was able to find one...moving to a new city and all. And cramming, my friends, really does NOT work. Hence my current situation. I thought all was well and have been studying for the past few weeks, and today I took a full-length practice test, minus the essays. And my mom helped me score it. (Mind you, I was supposed to take the actual GRE this coming Wednesday, while at home in Buffalo). Right after I finished the second section, I got a phone call from the Testing center. Realize that it's probably not good news if they're calling you. And it wasn't. My test was cancelled due to technical difficulties. So I panicked. And then heaved a sigh of relief when they called a few minutes later to reschedule. Until we finished scoring those two sections.

Now, I know I'm not stupid, but after grading the math section I really felt like it. And it took me back to the first time I took one of those awful tests...the dreaded SAT, and getting my scores for the math. I remember the day I got them in the mail and my father's response after I opened them. I got a 520, which isn't great, and he was so kind to point out how poorly he thought I'd done. And then he called me an idiot. So fast forward to today and, after looking at my math score...a 520 seemed like gold...it was like I could hear my dad's voice in my head...and everything just fell apart. I know I shouldn't speak ill of the dead, especially since he was my father, but what kind of person actually calls their child an idiot??? Anyways.....

So after a lot of tears and chocolate and diet coke (I fell off the wagon on that addiction), I decided to defer my grad school application to January. I realized, after finally calming down that it's just not worth it and I'm pushing for no really good reason. Why is it we can't really see clearly until everything seems to fall apart? At any rate, at least I've made a decision and have a new goal to work towards.

More news tomorrow, but this post is already too long...

A New Beginning....

And so the Nashville chapter of my life has ended and I'm starting the next one. Alan and I moved two weeks ago to Atlanta. Permanently. Or at least as permanently as I suppose it can be. I could, given a few years, perhaps talk him into going back to Nashville...but I have this sad, heavy little feeling that it's just not going to happen.

Moving on...I'm still not done unpacking. I have no idea when that will happen, but it probably won't happen within the next week! Most likely because I'm spending time now in Buffalo with my mom. She was supposed to have a lumpectomy this past Thursday, but after yet another test, this time an MRI, they found another couple of spots to biopsy. And so we wait. Hopefully we'll know something by Monday or Tuesday, and they'll be able to then reschedule the surgery. The bad news is that I probably won't be able to be home for that, since I have a few other commitments coming up that I can't get out of.

I like being home and being somewhat pampered though! Mom, in preparation of my visit, went and bought all of my favorite foods. And while I'm grateful..I'm so going to have to get back on the ball with walking and tennis to not gain at least twenty pounds while I'm home!


Speaking of walking....

I'm going to be walking in the 3-day Breast Cancer Walk this October in Atlanta! I'm training with my team, The Headlight Preservation Society, and we'll be walking 60 miles over the course of 3 days!

Please please visit my personal page for the event and consider making a donation to the cause!