Well, Easter has come and gone and it was good...I guess. It was a little sad as I compared it to Easters past and it just didn't quite measure up. I played a gig on Easter. And spent the weekend thousands of miles away from my husband. That alone was kind of a downer.
I used to love Easter. It was a time I got to see family, catch up with the cousins (on my mom's side of the family), have Easter-egg hunts, find our Easter baskets and pretty much enjoy the holiday. As I've gotten older I realize how little there is of that. This year, the only real highlight was getting an easter box in the mail (a few days late) from my mom...who tried to cleverly say it was the "Easter Bunny" but put her return address on the box. It was definitely a welcome surprise, but it reminded me how far we've come and how life has changed so much. I miss the old times. My resolution is to make the next holidays more important...to keep them sacred. If I don't, if I treat these special days as just another ordinary working day, I've lost something. And I'm not sure I'll ever get it back if I don't consciously make the effort.
I suppose that I've been thinking about these things and family for a little while now. I got a phone call the other night from my cousin in New Jersey, who was the deliverer of some awful news. My cousin, (actually my second cousin--but family nonetheless) was murdered last Wednesday/Thursday night. And he was only 23. His life was snuffed out, taken just like that before he'd really even had a chance to live. And it made me sick inside. It made me look at life a little differently...and realize how much, we, as people take for granted every single day.
When my husband got home on Sunday, I held him for a long time. Just held him...and realized how precious life truly is. I don't want to take him for granted. I want to live in each moment and realize how valuable it is...because for some, you never know when a kiss or a hug could be the last you'll have.
R.I.P Matthew Christian Haller...you'll be greatly missed.
~KMB
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3 comments:
I'm so sorry to hear about your cousin. It really has made me remember to sqeeze my family a little bit more because you never know.
It's hard as an adult away from the family & traditions you grew up with, isn't it? I know, Easter used to be so special for our family too. But as each year passes I find that my husband and I are starting our own traditions that are becoming more and more special. It's easier with kids, of course, because you want them to have the fun memories of childhood like you have.
I know it can be a downer, but sometimes you have to have bad days to find the really great ones.
mandy
Mandy, thank you so much for your kind words. It has been an emotionally draining couple of days. The funeral was today and it just took pretty much everything out of me.
It is hard when we grow up and traditions change. You're right about starting our own traditions--I think it will be better almost once we start a family...it always seems like holidays are better with kids!
Oh, Kim, I'm so sorry for your loss. And I'm truly sorry I haven't read this until now.
You and your family are in my heart and in my prayers.
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